things california wins at.

alright. having spent a week in california for purely vacation reasons after a long time away... i can say that there are definitely things california wins at. here they are... in no particular order.

mexican food.

mexican food. this might not be fair given that a large percentage of mexican immigrants live in california. but seriously... COME ON!!! mexican food isn't that complicated. it's all the same dish but rolled up differently! seriiously, COME ON NEW YORK... how hard is it to put some decent beans meat and rice and cheese into a tortilla and roll it up? seriously.... how hard is it? i'll never understand this one... mexican food is unequivocally the most basic type of food, yet somehow not a single person in new york can manage to do it right. for the best mexican food in socal: if you are in orange county, go to fiesta grill in huntington beach, the one on 17th st. not beach blvd. there are two. 17th st. is better. if you are in LA, go to el gran burrito... it's on santa monica and vermont.

weather... and the beach.

where i am from (huntington beach, ca) we have this thing called the sun. it shines on the beach and we get it about 340 days of the year. when we do have it, it feels good on your skin and it isn't tragically hot and humid and miserable. when we don't have it... you don't need 239 dead geese worth of feathers stuffed into a parka to keep you warm.

marijuana.

i don't really think i need to get into detail here except for two words: practically legal.

burgers.

okay. those of you who have never experienced the burger heaven that is in-n-out are probably saying "how good can a burger possibly be?" in-n-out is everything everyone has ever made it out to be ever and infinitely more. yes, i've had five guys. yes, i've had blue 9 burger. no, they do not even come close. five guys is good. but five guys is a franchise which lends itself to inconsistency. blue 9 is a poorly executed rip of in-n-out with different fries. plus, neither of those places have a secret menu. animal style fries, animal style burgers, flying dutchmen, protein style, etc. etc. the list goes on and on. where the difference comes in is this: every other burger can be substituted by something comparable. once you eat in-n-out, if you want in-n-out... NOTHING can substitute in-n-out.

sushi.

sushi is better in california. 'nuff said. i've tried way too many sushi places in new york that people say "oh this is the best sushi in new york." every single sushi place anyone recommends you in new york is "the best sushi in new york" and guess what? it all sucks. i'm sure there are decent places but at this point i've tried so many i just don't care anymore. and where california wins is this: in california you can pretty much go to any sushi place... anywhere, and it will be awesome.

cupcakes.

okay seriously... sprinkles owns. sprinkles cupcakes are hands down the best commercially available cupcakes on planet earth. your grandma's cupcakes might be better, though i'd debate that... but neither crumbs or magnolia are not... especially not magnolia. at all. just stop. they aren't. i get it... magnolia is on sexy in the city (or is it sex and the city? i have no idea)... la dee dah. who cares? they taste like shit and are always dried out. buttermilk frosting? that's disgusting... i want frosting, not ranch dressing, and that means cream cheese frosting. straight up. sprinkles are cheaper and bigger than magnolia AND are more moist than magnolia after 4 days out. i eat magnolia fresh and it tastes like a papercup filled with chalk and weird sweet creamy shit on top... you can't call it frosting because it isn't even frosting, it's watery almost. gross. i don't understand the appeal.